Now now children, we all have heard about gay pride and what not. Before I post anything, I need to put a disclaimer. I have many gay (homosexual) friends and some of whom I am very, very good friends with. We have nothing going on between us but as a friend to them and them to me, we are great friends and we appreciate one another as that. Now, the hard bit.
Everyone remembers the BIG hoo haa about the legalisation of gay sex in Singapore. MP Siew Kum Hong decides to appeal against this decision which was highly supported by voices from the gay and lesbian community. A heated debate started and ended in the Parliament with the decision to uphold section 377 of the penal code.
Section 377 reads: "Outrages on decency. 377A. Any male person who, in public or private, commits, or abets the commission of, or procures or attempts to procure the commission by any male person of, any act of gross indecency with another male person, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 2 years." Reference
So, then. Unfair to gays who want to get intimate? You might say so. Singapore doesn't give a crap about gays? You might say so. Singapore is opressing the gays? You might say so. Is this a norm? Is this viewed as "normal" by Singaporeans? Can you say so?
There is still a significant number of Singaporeans that view gay sex as "an act of gross indecency". My personal opinion is the same. However, I do respect gays and their decisions and their private life remains their own. Is it normal? Many people sure don't think so. Asian culture does not view gay sex as a norm. Singaporean culture does not view gay sex as a norm. Singapore society does not view gay sex as a norm. While it is slightly unfair and a fallacy in some sense to have the penal code as such. Our PM, Mr Lee Hsien Loong highlighted recognition of the fact that homosexuals do contribute to the country, Section 377A would not be actively enforced. Homosexuals would be left to lead their private lives without harassment.
So in some sense, gays can just get on with their lives, and not tempt fate (and the law) by trying some stunt in the middle of Botanical gardens.
Gay sex is a norm probably for western culture. Freedom of choice is a value that America preaches. However, in Singapore and asian culture, such a value is also accepted. BUT with conditions. After all, the breakdown of societal norms could have devastating effects for stability in the country. The gradual evolution of societal norms is another thing altogether.
Unfair for gays? Maybe yes. But is gay sex alright with Singaporeans as a societal norm? No. Hence 377A is still retained.
The beautiful Marie Digby. For those that don't know her, her name's pronounced "Marr-ree-eh". The power of the internet shows itself right here in her life. Despite being an amazing talent, Marie had problems going up on stage to compete and sing. Youtube came along and she just recorded herself singing and playing the guitar. She did a cover of Rihanna's hit song "Umbrella" and it grossed a total of (currently) 7.2 MILLION views! That's like every man and woman in Singapore giving birth and everyone with their new child watches the video!
For the happy ending, Marie was somewhat recently signed on a record company. What happened was that someone sat up and took notice of this girl who had talent but no record label. Now then, who needs American Idol now?
But seriously, if we do consider it, the power of the internet as the new media is quite something indeed. Take for example your internet as a HUGE network of websites. Now these websites are some sort of a TV channel where people visit and engage in these sites. Let's take YouTube as one of those "TV channels". Now, just because the stats add up and over 7 million people have viewed this angel of a lady, people have moved in to sign her up on a contract. Marie has "advertised" herself on this channel of YouTube and true enough, got her big break.
Think of the recent possibilities on the internet: Buying and selling items that we would not have normally have access to. T-shirts, apparrel from overseas. Music, CDs are available on the net. Worldwide commnunication! Before MSN Messenger came along, I was reduced to occasional monthly calls overseas to my cousins in England to catch up with them. Cost a bomb too! Now, with this application and the internet, I can easily talk to them a few times a week! FREE! (in theory)
A small little girl asked her mother this question: "Mummy, why are we here on earth?" Her mum answered "We are on this earth to help others." The little girl thought about that statement for a while and then said "Then Mummy, what are the others here for?"
I used to think about that for a period of time and thought to myself. How nice if we were to have a script for everything? Just like a computer! I could just download a script that someone has written, run it, and everything comes out fine and dandy. Imagine then, a script for getting together with someone. Every thing would be so easy! Well, that's for computer to computer. Unfortunately, boys and girls, we're dealing with human to human relations here. It gets much more complicated than that. Computers do not have emotions, PMSes, character traits. Computers do not have excessive armpit hair or scratch their no-show areas in public. Humans, on the other hand, do. Which is why we see the make and break of human relations sometimes. It's just like how a girl might be unable to tolerate a guy's public display of scratching personal, private cracks and crevaces. Or how a guy might be unable to tolerate the- "Honey, am I fat?" "No baby you look great!" "YOU LIAR!" - syndrome.
Make and break relationships. Sigh. But things do have exceptions. There are stages to making a relationship. The feeling one another out period. (character wise. Not physical wise. Feeling one another up physically constitues mutual molest.) The trying out period, the getting together period and all that. Exceptions being the cliched happy ending - growing old and dying together. Or even reconsiliation.
Just an example. FRIENDS. That long, successful comedy that lasted 10 seasons. Everyone should remember Chandler, Joey, Ross, Rachel, Monica and Phoebe! Well, if you don't, basically, these 6 people were best of friends! Monica and Ross were brother and sister. Joey and Chandler are roommates. So is Rachel and Monica. eventually, Monica and Chandler got married. So did Ross and Rachel. However, when Ross and Rachel were together as boy-girlfriend, Ross made a mistake and slept with someone else. They broke up eventually in this really really emotional scene:
I remembered watching this scene and was very sad when it happened. (All loyal followers of Friends would.) However, this video would totally sum up what I've been trying to say.
If you do follow "Friends", you would remember that Ross and Rachel's relationship with one another was a very traumatic one, with many breakups and getting together again. Eventually they got married (for the second time) and lived happily every after. It's a frustrating, long, dramatic relationship that should I choose to illustrate every event, I would be at my computer until I turn 40.
The 10 seasons of friends. Love, hate, relationships won and lost, made and broken.
Well, the next thing that's going to come along is something about perception. The following video does have a hint of that, I have to say. But the main thing I'm going to talk about today is unwritten communication.
I think I should start charging Nike for showcasing their many advertisements on this blog. Not only that, I'm generating traffic for Youtube too man. (DISCLAIMER: The previous 2 sentences were non-offensive jokes. If Youtube or Nike sues me, they really have nothing better to do). Anyway, the next clip is from Nike's newest soccer "take it to the next level" campaign.
Okay. Story's pretty straightforward. It's all that happens from a young, youth player's prespective. Story goes where he gets spotted by a coach, gets signed and goes from a youth team, to huge soccer club, Arsenal FC, and finally to the Dutch national team. Although there's dialogue here and there, there isn't any explicit words being said. If you actually notice, most of it is actually gestures. Head gestures, eyes, hand gestures, body language. Let's pick a few out:
Within the first few seconds, BLAM! Non-verbal communication. Nothing is said but the hand gestures and look of enquiry on the face as the guy motions with a thumbs up. As if to ask, are you alright?
Okay okay, specifics then. Examples of Kinesics, where the body is used. For example, as mentioned, after the kid in white in the beginning (0.06 secs thereabout) asks whether the player is okay, he illustrates that he is, by putting up his hand and pushing outward to illustrate that he is okay. A better example would be at (1 min 20 secs). Where the soccer player in white's body language is expressing displeasure and anger.
Simple things too, like artifacts. The man wearing all black on the soccer field, conveys that he is the referee. Even though it is not explicitly said, and there is no standard that referees wear black, it is generally understood that he is identified as the referee.
Let's move on to haptics. Touch. Now, the very attractive girl who kisses the hand of the player. There is nothing said but the act of her kissing the hand of the player indicates that she is probably a loved one. Wife or girlfriend? Well, the missing artifiact, i.e., the wedding ring on her hand to symbolise that she could be married to the player is missing. Thus, we can deduce that she is probably the girlfriend of this player. (0.51 secs)
A while later, when the player signs an autograph on a female fan's chest area, the girlfriend's eyes tell the whole story. She stares at the female's chest, then stares angrily at the player. She doesn't say anything, but displeasure with the actions of the player signing the girl's chest is communicated.
So, even with little or no words, plenty can be communicated by just the simplest of things! Not just body language alone, but also simple things like wearing objects, dressing a certain way. From our eyes, to our fists to our feet, can also communicate a bag of information. It brings about a thought, that all the more, during job interviews, we should dress properly and say what we mean with non only our body, but with our eyes and such as well.
